I wish I could punch you in the face.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
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you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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