No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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