Define "chronic" masturbator.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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