people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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