I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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