a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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