do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize