Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize