I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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