Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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