i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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