Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize