Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I AM VODKA MAN
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize