Kiss
Puke
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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