So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize