Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize