He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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