we have pet lesbian snakes
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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