dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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