He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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