If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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