They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize