we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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