yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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