If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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