his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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