Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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