spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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