Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
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Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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