this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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