is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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