How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize