dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
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i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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