Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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