she woke up with a sticky ear
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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