So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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