I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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