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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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