I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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