he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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