New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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