Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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