Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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