At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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