Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i think im in europe. pls send help
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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