yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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