And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
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Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
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Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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