I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
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i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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