I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize