My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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